Amanda (Mandy) Klyne
1955 - 2016
Held in Wolfson College, Oxford on 12 Aug 2016 at 16:00.
@@ Discuss: "Amanda" vs "Mandy" @@
@@ A place for thanks? @@
Say not in grief that she is no more, but in thankfulness that she was.
(Jewish advice in death)
We have come together because we loved Mandy As wife, mother, sister, colleague, friend.
Here we will mourn her leaving us, honour her life and death, and comfort each other.
We have come believing that all human life is valuable, that the truth and integrity and hopefulness which resides in each life, lives on.
We come, believing that Name’s life, which we celebrate today and for which we now experience great loss, is joined in the eternal continuum of human endeavour stretching into the past and into the future.
Mandy’s life was lived in its uniqueness with us and has now passed into the ultimate community of human existence.
The gifts and graces which she offered are never lost to us.
The creativity which he/she brought to us in her life and relationships lies now within our own lives and travels into the future with us.
Our lives are more beautiful because we lived with her.
(Marie lights first candle @@says?)
The first candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you Name is still intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
(William lights second candle @@says?)
The second candle represents our courage. To confront our sorrow, To comfort each other, To change our lives.
(Rhiannon lights third candle)
The third candle we light in your memory, Mandy For the times we laughed, The times we cried, The times we were angry with each other, The silly things you did, The caring and joy you gave us.
(Ronan lights fourth candle)
The fourth candle we light for our love. We light this candle that your light will always shine As we share this time of grief and sorrow with family and friends. We cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us.
: (Author unknown)
(Graham, speking for family ~20mins)
(Margaret Stern, speaking for colleagues)
(Ask Marie if she'd like to read, else ask Alison)
You can shed tears that she is gone, Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes And pray that she’ll come back, Or you can open your eyes, And see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty, Because you can’t see here, Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow And live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow Because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she’s gone, Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, Be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what she’d want: Smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Author unknown
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
(Becky - also representing village and friends)
(Becky)
@@ are these words of commital appropriate here @@
Since Mandy’s life has now come to an end, we commit her body to the elements/ground, which is welcoming to us at the time of our death. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. In the cycle of life and death the earth is replenished and life is eternally renewed.
To love someone is to risk the pain of parting. Not to love is never to have lived. The grief which we now experience is the honouring of our love. Let us now in a quiet moment make our farewell to Mandy.
(This poem has a long association with Mandy back to her school days. I recall she had it on her wall or bookshelves through much her time as a student.)
(Ian, my cousin)
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
: Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"
As we bid farewell to Name, let us commit ourselves to loving and supporting those who miss him/her most, especially A and B and all the members of Name’s family and close friends.
And now let us go into the world, Glad that we have loved, Free to weep for the one we have lost, Free to hold each other in our human frailty, Determined to live life to the full As did Name.
And may the love and peace of God, Be with you and those whom you love and with those who love you, today and always. Amen.
Casting of flower petals to the river
As you leave there will be a retiring collection in memory of Mandy for Cancer Research
If you have not already done so please sign the Book of Remembrance with your favourite memory of Mandy.